what a day. i'm laying in bed, alone, trying to go to sleep.l yeah, oh kaye. it's D-Day, JC and i had a real, kinda, personal talk about issues that concerned our relationship. except, nothing really solid resulted. rather it was like an interview. at 0130, he left. i'm uneasy about this. really.
after pleaqding for favors throughout the day, i would have thought we could have had a good nite's sleep with each other. yeah, oh kaye. this is a distressing matter. what can be done to change the situation? ground rules need to be applied or something that stabilizes this behavioral need.
i'm always hopeful that things will work out. even if the hope is filled with stress and uncertainty. it's bordering on forceful compliance, which cannot happen.
i guess i'd feel better about it all if there was more concerned communications. there is a minute, actually moderate compulsion to play fire with fire. hurt me, and i'll hurt you. but that type of response only snowballs. so then, what is the remedy? diminish the opportunity? yeah, oh kaye. a new approach.
i'd like to believe that once the drugs resolve, things could clear up and be done w/o the x-tra concentration. fingers are crossed. (0456)