Sunday, May 28, 2006

May 27, 2006

today, i'm getting caught up in the diary mention, got 1986 pertin'er in, and that's a task and a half. the memories going thru that were astounding. but i need to take a break.

October 31, 1986

i had nothing to write for october 31, since it is a blank page in the original diary. there's S&C on the other side of halloween, so it must not have been a big deal. usually halloween and new years, and my birthday, are the hollidays i hold close to my heart to enjoy. events can pretty much be timed to this moll in timespace to where my heart/mind ends up.

but back to the topic of the day: papo.

PAPO was a kid i met in jersey city, er rather weehawken it was.. ya, the bar is in weehawken, charlies? stanley's it was. i'm having problems seeing things here. shit, i'm in the mood to tell a story too.

November 5, 1986

S&C 1/2 day
vegas appt w/papo

this was his attorney's meeting re: some charge he had before he met me. i only stayed at sullivan & cromwell, cushy sullivan & cromwell, for the morning, and placed papo ahead of S&C was a reall dumb thing to do. but there were many more of these 'days' where i would be jus stupid crazy over papo.

lemme find some pot and maybe i can sit here and go into papo here.

November 3, 1986


October 30, 1986


and there's no entry for tomorrow, halloween.

October 29, 1986

went to city peggy sue got married -
great -

my guess here is that i was so livid taht i was going to just erase his name from my memomry banks. i had the ability to do this. and i stillll do to some extent. but i could completely erase all thing *. it would only bother me in that i had gaps in my timeline. .... so as i sit here with a joint in one hand, and trying to type in the other hand (care to guess which is which?) sip water and turn the pages of the diary and get it so the fan that's basically right in my face, i find it difficult to return to the idea. interrups the flow.

October 27, 1986


obviously it hadn't intruded into work yet, or has it? keep tuned for the answer.

October 28, 1986

"something special"


translated: i'm out on a date with papo and we're going out to eat, and drink. obviously something happened because of the entry the next day.

October 24, 1986

1/2 day - home sick


this was how papo affected me. i would be so distraut over knowing where he was, that i would be capable of vomiting getting that sick.i never, but still.. came extremely close

October 25 & 26, 27, 1986

these days are blank. i'd have to really try to remember this one. there's no telling WHAT could be entrenched in that camouflage hiding its darkest secrets, only God knows what truly went on in this timeframe.

October 23, 1986

home sick --
very serious

papo came back
from where,
i dont know


and i dont think i ever found out.
these trips i'm on when i'm without him, or knowing that i am unable to control who he sees, and what he does, got me wrecked like a school-girl-first-time-crush. serious isn't the word for it. it was more like a resounding latched on for dear life relationships. we were never formally introduced as mr & mrs, if you will.... none of our friends thought we were anything more than a trick in the night. the the type where you leave some money on the table, and wink as you head for the door. those are the types that can really get away you if your leash isnt as taught as it should be. and i'm not sayin anything about leashes... they come in fabulous colors now don't ya know. anyway, got way off topic here.... back up.

October 22, 1986

home sick -
love sick -

horoscope says to
let it ride out

yeah, right. this being the 2nd time i've falling in LUV and freekd whenever he even so much as lOOK at another man... so yea. papo papo papopapo papo pooao po ao oap oap ao p pao papo papo lap papo apop papo papo papo papo papo papo papo there ya go papo. da da da DAT

October 21, 1986


again - papo (see what did i tell ya)
stayed out

fred somehow got all his stuff out

fred was this guy that latched on to me in jersey, and i couldnt think of a better way of making it clear to him that i wanted him out. than to play these sissified games papo would teach me. I think i was pretty much alone in this manner. i didnt know spanish - still dont.

October 20, 1986

citibank --

papo stayd out

the FIRST in many times he would do this. this was the night it was clearly a heart ripper. for some reason it was more about who he was doing it with that got me so twisted.. and gurl, lemmme tell youuu about the times he would get me bent outta shape. to the point of being downdirght criminal. I'd sure luve to sit here and talk about papo, and his name is so hard to type anyway,ya i shuld talk about paopo. over the next few pages. :)

October 17, 1986

accepted post @ S&c
ofer - $23K
start date is 11/3
citibank - 1/2 day
papo showed up @ 8am with rest of my clothes - drunk.

oh i remember this morning. i was pissed off cuz papo went to do my laundry YESTERDAY. anyway, it was the first a a number of fights i was totally innocent of doing anything to warrant the late clothes trip. i'll have to figure out a nice night when i can just write about papo. like i said, he could be a whole chapter. hell, he could be the whole fukin book.

October 16, 1986

F/U #2 -= Bigtime

movie w/lovetta


hmmm.... i wish i knew what THIS was all about.

October 15, 1986

offer from S&C

F/U #1 papo



papo has already made a fuck up with me, so the relationship has already taken on a tone of a 10 year old marriage.

October 14, 1986


i guess i returned to citibank and was there when i met papo.

October 12, 1986

all day in bed with papo.

it was sunday, there's a holiday on monday, so far, staying in bed isn't causing any damage on the job front. not yet.

October 11, 1986

movie & rawhide w/papo


the beginnings of a relationship always starts with a movie.

October 10, 1986 (MET PAPO)


"HOW" is a good question
50C - tom
40C - 48th/park

papo, aye poppie!!!!!


this was the day i met papo. ooooh the stories i can tell you about him. and hence a new chapter is born.

October 6 - 9, 1986

loeber landau (SUC)
at 250 park

the interview went great

i remember getting all dressed up for this interview. and i remember passing it with flying colors. continued to work at citibank for a while... i'll know when that switch came about but i continued at citibank through 10/29, after that i went to S&C fulltime employee (not temp). but there's some dirt to sift through this last week at citibank.

September 27 - October 3, 1986


on the 3rd: loaned fred $50

September 26, 1986

tom lloyd

got a raise
Hee Ho --

have NO idea what happened here. that i got a raise? musta meant that i got a good report back from citibank on my performance.

July 9 - September 2, 1986


what a summer that was to be working at sullivan and cromwell in the bullpen. a memrable summer at that, being able to go to a baseball game with these young lawyers. it was a treat.

Friday, May 19, 2006

September 25, 1986


shirtley got fired

i can't really recall shirley, but she must have been amusing as i remember going to cocktails and dinner that night.

September 24, 1986


collected & calm
but most of all --- cool

called fred -- gave him keys

i think fred was who i liked of that threesom in jersey city walk. him and victor were a pair, until i came along. but i let fred stay with me. he didnt rip me off so that was nice. i hope i've got more entries about fred. i wouldn't mind remembering more about him.

September 22, 1986


"sex without Talk"
not even a word

i always said, my favorite words during sex as "shhhhhh"

September 18, 1986


interview w/katz @ S&C 9:30

finally paid racli in full.

this was my permanent job interview with sullivlan & cromwell. i did get hired by them, but had to get mixed up with some personal shit and got fired. all over a trik named papo. i met him and lost everything.

September 17, 1986


off for the afternoon

jim sharp
301 w 45th
315.5714 >>> T&C interior design

September 13, 1986

tomita concert - exceptional@!

answering machine to racli


ahhhh, this was the time i lived on fulton street. racli was my landlord - just got off the boat from italy. heavy accent and all, she was kinda nice. had a fabulous son i luved to gawk at. anyway, i think i stayed in that apt for 6 months or more.

the tomita concert was down in battery park, and was the most fantastic thing i have ever experienced. there was laser shows and sound that couldnt be beat. it was just a fabulous experience. i wonder if there's anything about it on the net.

oh wow, there's a lot more than i thought:

September 12, 1986

citibank (been there all week)

brought frank mcguinty home.


frank mcguinty was a lawyer that worked for the same law firm (seargent ahearn & van heemstra) as i did and was instrumental in manny (my roommate at the time - and a whole'nother chapter's worth of tales) getting his record contract. what puzzles me is the entry for a half a gram of coke.

September 5, 1986

399 park
17th flr
lavetta murrayu
9-5 15

it turnd out ok; returning next week. pasted a clip of my horoscope entry for that day:

CANCER: keep your cool even if others panic. a deliverate manner helps you gain control of the situation. a long-term romantic involvement will work out better than you thought possible.

did i know victor THAT well??

September 4, 1986

home w/hustler after bveing arrested in lower level of PABT - disorderly conduct
lost hat and undlershirt - out walking to JC
30 R

met victor & fred & rich & debbie

i remember some about this event. it was a night of very heavy partying where i got into the city and got quite drunk. headed homne and somehow got sidetracked by some boy, and went to intice him to play, and somehow got arrested for disorderly conduct. got busted blowing this kid behind some cars on the parking ramp.

but the 3 i met walking around in the park on the jersey side later that afternoon on one of my marathon walks with the walkman and pot and beer (those are famous and will be spelled out over time through these entries). but these characters were just as bad as the scum i ran around with on 42nd street. they were just jersey scum who didnt have to catch a ride back to the city. i think became better friens with victor if memory serves me right.

September 3, 1986

home w/tony
out to ny
what happened?

i really have no clue as to what happened. no doubt i had fun. just look at tomorrow's entry.

September 2, 1986

1350 6th ave / 55th
26th floor
9:30 - 5:30

xerox 860
kimi cunningham

o/n at carmine's

i sure wish i could remember who carmine is. the name is familiar, but i cant put a face to it. oh well. i do remember working at mgm. even if it was for only one day, i was then able to say without lying that i worked at MGM... in fact, it lasted for more than 1 day too.

August 1, 1986

"straight from the chip"

S&C 5.5

again, the zulu indicator

July 9, 1986


"who is it?"

S&C 7.5

the zulu time is when i mark down things that flew by me and i happened to grab it. where this went is your guess as good as mine.

July 7, 1986

S&C (sullivan & cromwell) - 7.75
pd tony $20 (60 bal)
$150 deferred at contemp

my time at sullivan & cromwell was a real trip. i'll have to delve more into it when i get some grass. the stories i could tell involving sullivan & cromwell are juicy and ripe for scandalous adjectives.

July 5, 1986

just hung out
went to stanleys'got $10.50 back from
deposit from indians.

31 COH

stanleys was this bar on the corner from where i lived. spent a lot of time in there. it was an irish pub, but catered to puerto ricans and cubans who were dominant in the neighborhood of the borderline betweeen jersey city & weehawken. i spent a lot of time in stanleys, spent a lot of money is what i did. but i always had a decent time there. whether it be chattin with the locals, or playing pool with the homeys. picked up a lot of meat outta that bar. goes to show ya, straight bars are really better stacked when looking for men.